On the Man vs. Bear Debate

By Sadhika on

It’s a curious thing, this debate between man and the bear that sprung up on social media a few months ago. The gist of it is simple enough—women are asked to choose: would they rather find themselves alone in a forest with a bear or a man? In the original TikTok video that sparked it all, eight women were asked the question, and seven of them picked the bear. When the post went viral, women from all over chimed in online, and, overwhelmingly, they echoed the same choice. The reason cited behind the choice of the bear was associated with the widespread violence and sexual assault committed by men towards women. It didn’t stop there. On came a tirade with arguments stretched to all proportions, some, admittedly understandable, while others ridiculously far-fetched. But the underlying message was clear: women claimed having felt unsafe around men for much of their lives, and were now saying they'd rather take their chances with a bear.

I don’t deny for a second that most, if not all, women have, at some point, felt their physical safety threatened by a man. That’s a reality we can’t ignore. But what baffles me is how so many women seem to have overlooked the flip side of this. Haven’t we also found ourselves feeling safer in dangerous situations because of a man? Whether it was a father, a husband, or a brother we turned to when things got rough—or even the police, when the danger loomed too large. When war came knocking, it was men in the army we relied on to stand between us and harm. These were all men. It’s astonishing how women overlooked this tiny detail. We felt physically threatened because of violent men. We also felt safer because some men were willing to commit violence to protect us. And even if you happen to be one of the fortunate women who’s never had to worry about her physical safety, chances are you live in a safe neighbourhood in a country where laws exist to protect you—and where those laws are actually enforced. And who’s doing that enforcing? Men!

Most of us have never come face to face with a bear. I know I haven’t—unless you count the one caged behind bars at the zoo. So how is it that we’ve gone our entire lives without a single bear encounter? By living behind walls built by men (after all, over 90% of construction workers are men). By living in cities designed and constructed by men. By relying on strong men risking their lives in wildlife management to keep us safe from ever running into a bear in the wild. And now, after enjoying all the safety and security of our developed, urban worlds—where bears are a distant thought, and where we’re so far removed from the actual fear of encountering one—we go and pick the bear over the man? If that’s not a facepalm moment, I don’t know what is!

If this were just a joke, I’d laugh along with everyone else. But the problem is, these women sounded like they really meant it. The second issue I have with choosing the bear over the man is that it’s a blatant lie. These women think they’d choose the bear—but only because it makes for a strong political statement. In reality, if they ever found themselves face-to-face with a bear and saw a man nearby, especially one with a gun, they’d do whatever it took to get his attention and beg him to help. And if that man turned out to be a rapist or a murderer? Well, they'd cross that bridge once the bear was no longer a threat. That’s just how we behave in life-threatening situations. You deal with the immediate danger first, and worry about the "what-ifs" later. 

In the end, what we see here isn’t really a question of whether a bear is less dangerous than a man—it’s a reflection of a deeper frustration. Women, having faced harm and fear, are expressing their distrust in a society that they think hasn’t done enough to make them feel safe. But by choosing the bear, they risk oversimplifying a much more complex issue. When push comes to shove, survival instincts don’t leave room for political statements. Extreme statements like choosing a bear over a man, while emotionally charged, oversimplify the nuanced relationships between men and women, particularly in moments of crisis. Yes, men can be threats, but they are also protectors, and much of the safety we enjoy in our modern lives comes from their efforts. 



Image source: The Waltons (1972-1981), Season 1, Ep. 4 - The Hunt

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Last Keeper

By Sadhika on
Image
Of late, there has been a feeling settling in my chest like dust in an empty room—soft, silent, and certain. It is the quiet realization that my memories are not permanent things. Not chiseled into stone or sealed up in iron-bound books, but written in pencil, the graphite growing faint with each passing season. I am aware, now more than ever, that what I remember will not be remembered for long. I think of my parents often. I remember my mother in her early sarees —floral, soft, like the curtains of a spring house. As the years passed, her colours dulled. Maybe they matched her age better, or maybe they just matched her mood. I see her now in my mind, young, barefoot and newly married, in a kitchen not yet hers, lifting a spoon to her mother’s lips and asking if the peas were soft enough. What was her scent like?  Turmeric?   Talcum powder? Or those white rajnigandha flowers she loved so much? I don’t remember. I think of my father and the way he used to hum when he shaved, a...
Read more

A Village Denied

By Sadhika on
Image
Co-authored by  Shrankhla and Sadhika on August 28, 2025 Of all the deprivations visited upon modern childhood, none is so grave and yet so little acknowledged as the absence of other people. Those of us who grew up in fuller households know what today’s children are missing. We remember weddings where ten different families would squeeze into one house, sleeping on the floor, with cousins lined up like sardines. We remember giving up one’s own bed to an elderly uncle, and waking up to the sound of aunties and uncles gossiping arguing over tea. In those homes, very little belonged entirely to us. The bed we slept on, the food on our plate, not even our stories. Someone was always listening in, correcting us, mocking us, softening our triumphs with their own, or placing a hand on our shoulders when we faltered. It was infuriating. It was also how we learned that life is not designed for any one person’s comfort—least of all a child’s. Siblings taught us this brutally and tende...
Read more

So begins our undoing

By Sadhika on
In rich aplomb we sit Atop the piles of gold and good That we write to our credit, When the good Lady Fortune’s scales tip And the waves of Chaos come gushing in From directions unventured, To lay waste to our kingdoms. So begins our undoing. Then a shadow confronts us To which, earlier, we became privy Only in brief flashes of thought or dream, And brushed away with impatience. The darkest among us have a still darker self Long lost and buried Beneath the best of us. The old altars lay slighted, Our ideals bear no resemblance  To the names we gave them. We are ruled by Furies aplenty. How do we rebuild our fallen kingdoms Without Divine Guidance? Somewhere along our final descent, We meet the gods we banished. A faint glow (perhaps even imagined)  Beckons across the waste yonder. Do we follow? Or do we give in to the darkness? 
Read more